Making A Relationship Last

By A Aaron

I'm sure you've wondered why there are some women who have longer, happier relationships with the men in their lives than others? You've probably attributed it to the men (they had all the great qualities), or the attraction between them (it was true love), or they were simply compatible (they were "meant" for each other).

The truth is, there are no rules in the dating game. Everything happens spontaneously. You can't say you're in love, but you just feel it in the gut. I'm sure you've felt this before with a man in your life, and that's the easy part - most women know how to get into a relationship. The tricky part is in keeping the relationship growing.

Many women tend to take along some hurts from previous relationships. And when they see these hurts about to resurface in their present relationship, they do everything in their power to fix it and keep it from "getting in the way" again.

The problem is that men do not take all this fuss very well. They see you as making such a big deal out of a little problem, and no amount of convincing, explaining, and arguing can make them see things the way you do. Needless to say, this disagreement can escalate until the relationship falls apart.

Here's how to keep your emotions from getting in the way of a good relationship:

1) Establish a deeper emotional connection with your man. It's easy to fall in love with a guy with just his looks, but it takes a deeper emotional connection to make a relationship last. Focus on his good attributes and learn to appreciate them, diverting your attention from any gnawing issues you might find.

2) Understand your man better - go the extra mile and try to be in touch with his interests and beliefs. This makes your relationship more interesting, and it opens the doors to a more giving (and forgiving) setup with him. He'll appreciate the fond attention, and will be more likely to reciprocate your efforts.

3) Don't give in to him too easily. When a guy tells you that he'd like to get involved in a deeper relationship right after the first date, don't fall into the trap. Firstly, rushing into a relationship will make him lose interest in you in a heartbeat, and the relationship will end just as quickly. Set your terms and tell him what you're expecting in a relationship. Whether he gets motivated or shies away, you rid yourself of a great deal of emotional trauma.

4) Keep communicating with him. The more the two of you talk about yourselves, the better your chances of establishing a deeper connection with him in all aspects of the relationship.

Don't waste your time looking for Mr Perfect. Relationships don't simply fall into place - it takes a lot of work on the part of both you and your man. So next time you feel that deep attraction for your man, make sure you do your part - if you do, chances are he'll do the same, and the relationship will only get better from there.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A_Aaron

Are You In A Healthy Relationship

By Jeana Caldwell

First if you are in an abusive relationship it is unacceptable and you should seek help.

Simple Questions you can ask yourself:

Are you happy?

Are you allowed to be yourself?

Are you having fun?

Are you treated the way you feel you should be treated, and with that being said are you treating your partner with the same respect?

Just understand that I believe not all healthy relationship ends in marriage. Some are just the next step to another wonderful relationship. The reasons I am saying this is that not all divorces were the result of a relationship failure. I think each relationship is a way to teach you more about yourself. If you can learn something about why things went wrong and how you can carry that knowledge on with you to the next. When I started dating I meet a man I would have married in a heartbeat because one I thought he was the one I wanted, and two I thought I was madly in love with him. Hind-sight is always 20/20 and as I have grown and dated more I have learned that although it wasn't the best relationship it wasn't the worst.

And as a result I have come to learn things about myself. Such as what I want, what I can bring to a relationship, and that I am okay with being alone. I have learned how to appreciate and accept who I am and what I am about. I believe to be in a healthy relationship you must learn to love yourself first and foremost. You need to have high standards and high self-esteem. As the saying goes don't settle for just any Tom Dick or Harry, there is other fish in the sea. And I can't begin to tell how true that statement is. I have dated a variety of different men I have seen abuse first hand, and I have told myself but no-one else would want me. Wrong... wrong...

There is someone out there for everyone but I believe there is more then one someone for all of us. If you happened to be one of the few that dated in school and married and are still completely happy good for you, but that is not to say that tomorrow all of that isn't gone. Life is a wonderful but it can also be very cruel. I too was married once and it was wonderful everything was great. I told myself I would never love another he was the one meant for me. One day my world came crashing down he never came home. I found out he was in a terrible car accident and was care-flighted to a hospital where he was in a coma. I went to the hospital and watched the horrific seen though what seemed to be someone else's eyes.

I was numb and in denial I could not believe this could happen to me, it just could not. I mean I understood it happens but you just never expect it to happen to you. While I was there for a month I seen people come and go. One guy had tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head twice. He lived and went on for therapy I felt angry why did he get to go on while my lover still clung to death? A month went by and I was told they were sending him to a nursing home. I made the arrangements we moved him but nothing really changed. He could breath on his own but if you looked in his eyes he wasn't there anymore.

After a year of waiting I was advised to move on. How could I didn't I love him enough to be able to endure this for both of us? I had to get a divorce in order to be able to own my own home, because he was put on Medicare. Medicare is wonderful but it was intended for people who are older with fixed income. Not twenty year old newly weds and one who had a life yet to live. Three years passed and I meet someone new. Someone I had known all my life and he inspired me to try again. So I moved on, I still feel the loss and some regret, but I am grateful for the time I did have. I learned an important lesson never take your time here on earth for granted live life everyday to the fullest.

Remember the three L's live laugh, and love. So like I said not every divorce is a failure learn something and take it with you to the next relationship. And remember that the first thing to a successful happy healthy relationship begins with you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeana_Caldwell