Relationship Advice From My Ex-Husband

By Myla Madson

The Internet is full of relationship advice. There are more self proclaimed relationship experts out there than there are couples that are in need of their help. So, I thought I would shine a different light on the subject and present you with...relationship advice from my Ex.

Out of 1,000 men who were asked if they knew what their wife's favorite flower was, 999 of them said, Pillsbury. The other guy said he had no idea, but that if he could get his wife to cook, there would not be any problems in their relationship in the first place.

It's not about the quality of the sex; it's all about the quantity, why can't women get that?

Of course men have "feelings" and "wants"... I want a beer now, I feel like watching football now, I want you naked now, I want you to stop talking now. In fact, men probably have more "feelings" than women do.

It's NOT the dress that makes you look fat.

I think Albert Einstein said it best when discussing why so many marriages fail; "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed". I certainly think men are on the losing side of this equation.

If a woman would look at a potential spouse and ask the question... Is this the guy I want my future children to spend their weekends with? Maybe they wouldn't have so much to complain about all the time.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth...Deal with it.

If women could apply the same logic they use when informing us guys how stupid it is to watch race cars go around in circles for five hours to the idea of spending fifty bucks to get their nails done every two weeks, the divorce rate could be cut in half.

Before getting married, a man should have a clear idea on what "forever" actually means...sex with the same woman for the rest of your life!

The secret to a successful marriage is to not be around each other to much.

And there you have it. It's clearly evident, at least it is to me, that men and women are different.

Seems so obvious, but when you're in a relationship, many couples often fail to make this distinction and aren't willing to allow the possibility of conflicting views without it turning into a true relationship conflict.

I certainly understand this now but I realize it would not have saved our marriage anyway. The comment that it wasn't the dress that made me look fat, was completely unforgiveable and certainly grounds for divorce!

Want more "Relationship Advice" from the mind of Myla Madson? Check out her new website devoted to herself at http://www.MylaMadson.com

She'll even bribe you with forty of her favorite Italian recipes guaranteed to please any man, just for visiting her website! http://www.MylaMadson.com/italianrecipes

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Trying to Establish a Relationship with In-Laws

By Mary Ann Copson

Here's a simple question that came up in Personal Coaching session:

"My husband and I have been married for five years and his family is still a mystery to me. I've tried everything I know to develop a closer relationship with them. I call his parents at least once a week, set up outings and dinner dates with them, and invite them on our excursions. All to no avail. They simply don't seem interested. I think that close family relationships are important and I've told them how much I would like to get to know them better. And still their response is lukewarm. Should I just give up?"

Research shows that when we feel emotionally disconnected from those with whom we are in relationship, our emotional brain becomes aroused and we move into flight or fight mode. This means we respond only in terms of defense and attack. The results are not good for our relationships and it throws our physiology into chaos.

Nothing affects the emotional brain like the quality of your relationships. Women are relationship oriented - Relationships mean a lot to women. A good relationship can give you increased energy and support a positive outlook. A troubled relationship can wear you out. The health and wellbeing of your relationships entrains your emotional brain, which in turn governs your physiological health.

When you are engaged in disconnected, turbulent, or emotionally unfulfilling relationships, your moods and energy can become drained, negative, and nonsustaining.

By contrast, relationship peace and connection can lead to better health and well-being, more vital energy and more positive moods. By almost every measure those who have close and rewarding relationships do better than those who have turbulent relationships.

Often times in relationships we are looking to the other party to be an equal part of turning the relationship into something that meets our needs. But before we even get to that point there is a lot of our own internal work that can be done and often needs to be done before we can experience the kind of relationships we want.

In a situation like you are experiencing the first place to look at would be the whole issue of your need to have close family relationships. It is so important to be aware of our needs and then to find a way to get those needs met. Asking for what you need from friends and family can be wonderful and successful tactic to help get those needs taken care of. But, there are pitfalls in that process.

You may be asking your husband's family to fulfill a need of yours that they are not capable of fulfilling - particularly in a way that is satisfying to you. If you have a need for close family relationships, you have to match up with someone who likes to give close family relationships. It makes no sense to keep coming to the tropics when you want to be snow skiing. They may be doing the best they can but simply not be able to do what it is you need.

If you have a need for this experience of close family relationships and your in-laws don't seem to be able to meet that need - find another way. Perhaps it is more fulfilling for you (and less stress on them) if you fill your need by developing close relationships with other members of the family.

Also, it is a useful insight to discover what is underlying this need. Maybe, these close family relationships make you feel connected and secure in a caring network. If that is the case, there are many means to experience this type of connection - become a Big Sister or get involved in a local charity organization. Once you discover the essence of your need there are many ways to get that need met.

Could be that your in-laws are already experiencing a close family relationship with you. Maybe their lukewarm response is their idea of a close family relationship and it could help you if you found out what their ideal family interactions are like. Some people can feel well connected to friends and family and not see or speak with them for months or even years. You all might be in agreement on the basic outcome of the relationships - it is just that the ways and means that don't mesh.

Maybe they don't like doing the things the things you like to do - find out what their favorite things to do are. Sitting home and watching TV might be their preference and they aren't so fond of dinners out and excursions to new places.

There is a quote by Gandhi that says, "Be the change you want to see in the world." This is wonderful advice for a relationship. Often we come to a relationship seeking something outside of ourselves. If we want intimacy in a relationship we can not be waiting for the other person to be intimate. We have to be intimacy ourselves. We have to develop our own experience of intimacy so that no matter who we are relating to we are able to experience an intimate connection with them. The experience comes from our own dynamic and we merge and expand that experience in the presence of another - but we don't depend on them to make something happen for us. We become the experience we want to have in a relationship.

Unfortunately - or is that fortunately?- you can't change anyone but yourself. Taking the focus off your husband's in-laws and putting it on the only place you can change - yourself - will put you back in the driver's seat and leave you in an empowered position. The need you feel for close family relationships may be your call to become connection, intimacy, or support. As you grow and develop these characteristics, of the essence of close family relationships, you will not only fill up your need but also generate those characteristics in the world and attract them to you.
Good luck and have fun.

"When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in the universe that we have the right and ability to change, we begin to get a sense of the choices we really do have, an inkling of the power we have, a feeling of being in charge of our lives, of our future, of our dreams." - John Roger and Peter McWilliams
Copyright (c) 2008 Mary Ann Copson

Mary Ann Copson is the founder of the Evenstar Mood & Energy Wellness Center for Women. With Master's Degrees in Human Development and Psychology and Counseling, Mary Ann is a Certified Licensed Nutritionist; Certified Holistic Health Practitioner; Brain Chemistry Profile Clinician. Find your Health, Wellness and Lifestyle Personal Coach at http://evenstaronline.com

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5+ Tips for Your Best Relationship Ever

By Ariole K Alei

Have you ever wished there was a 'guidebook' to navigate you through the maze of your relationship? Here it is! The first 5+ of our 10+ Tips to Making Your Relationship the Best Ever. (See "5 More Tips" to glean the enormous benefits of our blissful love advice.)

1. Self Love

Relationships with others are an extension of our relationship with ourself. To create a better love relationship with our partner, the first and consistent step (it never goes out of fashion) is to pay close attention to how we care for ourself.

The more you appreciate yourself; the more you believe in yourself; the more you value your inner self, your gifts and your particular attributes – the more open you will be to loving and being loved. When we are critical of ourself, we close ourself off from access to love. We create thick walls, endeavoring to hide our perceived shortfalls from the one we love. This runs contrary to our desire to love and be loved.

So the first step in creating a wonderful love relationship with our partner is to create a wonderful love relationship with ourself.

Notice how you speak about yourself.

Notice the words and tone with which you speak to yourself.

What is your attitude towards ‘you’?

If it is at all derogatory, impatient or unkind, then your relationship with you needs repair. Be gentle with yourself. Lower your expectations. Celebrate your accomplishments, your gifts and your skills. Be your own best ally. Turn your self ‘enemy’ into a self ‘cheerleader’. Love yourself more … and you’ll open your ‘pores’ to receive your partner’s love and affection.

2. Respect

The cornerstone of all great relationships is respect. If you have chosen a partner whom you don’t respect, then either you have compromised your ideals, or you aren’t perceiving their winning traits.

Let go of blame. No one but you is responsible for your happiness and for your life. If your chosen partner isn’t someone whom you can fully respect, you have two choices. Stay and be miserable. Or leave. Letting go of blame may surprise you with a third option. If the seed of respectability in your partner has been masked by your blame, then you may begin to witness a ‘glow’ in your partner that will draw you to fall in love with her/him.

Respect yourself. This is a key aspect of Self Love. If you punish yourself with useless guilt, blame and shame, you aren’t making yourself available for love.

What have you done wrong? Either fix it or forgive yourself – and move on. You only ever live in the ‘now’. Blame and regret hook you into the never-ending past. Let go the hook. Float into the now. Here you will find your power, your clarity, and your true love.

3. Play

When we first meet our partner, no matter what age we are, we behave like pubescent teenagers. We flirt. We dance around each other, heightening the electric spark which will infuse our love.Keeping a relationship young and alive has everything to do with play. Play is more than making time to go out together on dates – to dinner, movies, sports and other leisure activities. Play is play.

What ‘lightens you and your partner up’? Is it playing teasingly competitive games? Is it having snowball fights? Is it playing ‘tag’? Is it tickling each other? Is it playing board games? Is it creating something fun together – cooking, baking or building a craft?

Play is what keeps us all young – and so it inherently is what keeps a relationship young. Adults tend to become more and more serious. Our happiness and health take a nose dive as a result – as does our most precious intimate relationship.

Make a decision together with your partner to explore new ways to play. Lighten your spirits! Rediscover the spark in each other – over and over again.

4. Safety, Trust, and Intimacy

Play widens and deepens the terrain in which we connect with our loved one. It opens up the space in which we explore each other.

Healthy relationships are built on trust. Trust allows for ecstatic intimacy. All this requires safety as its base.

5. Allies in Growth

Safety naturally arises when we are allies. Most relationships falter when people inadvertently become each other’s critics and thus enemies. Without the conscious awareness to choose an alternate path, most people become disheartened and afraid when they witness their partner’s ‘weaker side’. Rather than ‘holding loving space’ for their partner to grow and strengthen themselves, they attack.

The most direct path to becoming each other’s ally – and thus creating an unshakeable foundation of safety in your relationship – is this:

a). Become conscious of what your and your partner’s areas of greatest challenge are – Trust? Organization? Fitness? Discipline? Desire? Self Love? Confidence? Or something else?

b). Notice your tendency to attack – to undermine – your partner when he/she is in the midst of this area of challenge.

c). Discipline yourself. Rather than attacking - through words, actions or glances - simply 'hold space'. Hold in your heart and mind an air of compassion. Love them even more for their challenge. Hold a loving ‘container’ in which they can grow. They will trust you all the more, increasing profoundly their experience of safety. This safety will naturally lead to greater intimacy.

5+. Communication

Communication is the constant thread that links us. We each have different styles – which is the source of much miscommunication and confusion in relationships. Familiarizing yourself with systems such as the Enneagram and Numerology can assist you in identifying your and your partner’s predominant communication styles.

Most of our communication is actually non-verbal – it is expressed through our tone of voice, our body language and simply through the ‘dance’ of energy between us. Consider this: A hug or a smile is worth a thousand words. (Which is why physical intimacy is such a cornerstone in building and nurturing a healthy relationship.)

Here are a few communication tips:

a). When a challenge or a tension arises between partners, it is the role of the first person who notices it to draw it to the attention of both people.

b). All irritations need to be addressed. Very seldom does a tension resolve itself. Challenges which go unaddressed tend to grow in proportion, attracting other challenges to them. As soon as you notice something niggling at you, find a time to speak with your partner. ‘Nip it in the bud.’

Your relationship is so precious. Practice these 5+ frequently. Keep training your mind to experience your relationship In The Now.

Copyright (c) 2008 HeartSong Solutions

Ariole K. Alei is Co-Founder of HeartSongMatchmaking and SoulfulSinglesBlog. She is an Author, Keynote Speaker, Coach and Global Visionary. http://www.HeartSongMatchmaking.com, http://www.SoulfulSinglesBlog.com

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Dating Tips For Disabled Men

By Anan

Online dating is the easiest fashion to get to cognise people a little earlier you actually take them out on a day of the month.

Online dating is the easiest fashion to get to cognise people a little earlier you actually take them out on a day of the month. If you ar disabled and single, you can try out numerous specialist dating land site to see who you would really like to know more than. As a hombre, you might feel secure and can chat about anything, just you demand to be a little more sensitive once it comes to understanding women.

Create a good first impression every bit that mightiness decide the future class of the relationship. Lone when you see that the adult female is comfortable with you, ask her out on a real date to meet. This will be very important so recall the following:

A good first notion is a must. You may have chatted with her for months only she is certainly leaving to be nervous meeting you. Take a convenient spot and dress appropriately. Remember to greet her well and not crevice silly jokes on seeing her, no matter how nervous you may be feeling. It is important that you establish a comfort level at ye very beginning, otherwise things whitethorn get quite awkward.

If you bring her a thoughtful gift, it will sure as shooting be appreciated. If you cannot, no hurt done, but a gift will earn you brownie points. Disabled geological geological dating is rather unnerving for number one - timers so be especially careful. You must make her feel special. Do not bargain any excessive gifts wish jewellery - a pretty bunch of flowers or chocolates will do amercement.

Whenever ye twenty-four hours from the month involves disbursement money be certain to sort out ye matter beforehand. Usually, once a man asks a woman on a date, it is expected that he volition pay for it. If you would care her to pay for her one-half, be sure to discuss it before really meeting. It can be very awkward if she does not bring money once you assumptive she would and hence brought a small amount yourself.

Be a good verbalizer and also listen carefully when its her turn to talking. Conversation is very of importation soh discourse things with her. It is advisable to talk about topics which you have already spoken on spell chatting on the disabled geological dating website. Keep it seeable radiation and comical. And, let her talk also. Nobody should monopolize the conversation. Let her feel that you are ye same person who she hour angle been chatting with for so long.

Whenever you care the way she face, that is good but do not stare. A woman can easily understand and it makes her witting while have got doubts astir your purpose. You would not like that, would you? Just compliment her former or twice and leave it at that. Dating substance demand to be handled with sensitivity. If she is prettier than you idea, good, but if she is not what you expected, brawl not net ball your letdown be apparent. Even she might or might not rich person liked you and she is still posing, so should you!

Disabled dating, like any other, is a little nervus-wrecking for the first time but things will ease out as you go along. So, go ahead and enjoy yourself.

Article Source: http://www.ArticlesAlley.com/

About the Author: Anan Tangtriamchitman working dating consultant. To find dating tips,internet dating,adult dating,dating sites that best suits your needs visit http://dating.coolsiteweb.com

Valentine's Day - Different ways to spoil your loved ones

By Andrea Cox

Valentine's Day is a day for romance. Traditionally a day when we hope to receive cards, flowers and maybe a gift from those that we love or admire. Cards are usually given anonymously. It's great fun to try and disguise your token of appreciation and maddening trying to work out who the sender of your's is. It is always a thrill to receive a Valentine from someone we have feelings for, particularly if it is a new potential relationship.

The story goes that in the 3rd century St Valentine married a couple in secret at a time when it was banned by Emporer Cladius 11. For this he was sentenced to death and while in prison he fell in love with the jailer's blind daughter (allegedly the power of his love restored her sight). Just before he died he sent her a message signed "from your Valentine".

Gifts for your loved ones

Long-established symbols of love are hearts, red roses and kisses and traditional gifts of flowers, chocolates and perfume are given at Valentines. Heart shaped gifts or items decorated with Hearts are also popular. If you've been with your sweetheart for some time then you may be past flowers and chocolate and need inspiration for a more original gift. Heart shaped pottery or pottery decorated with hearts would be a long-lasting token. Your partner would think of you each morning as he or she sipped their morning tea from their Heart covered mug or serve a romantic breakfast in bed on Hearts pottery. You could fill a jug with flowers or add a personal message or their pet-name to a mug or teapot.

It is traditional to give your partners gifts for Valentine's but it's also a nice gesture to show your other loved ones how you feel about them on this special day. Secret cards to confuse your children (my grandfather always used to send me a card from whoever my love of the moment was be it David Cassidy or David Soul). Anonymous cards to friends, but with a clue that it might be from their best friend so that their hopes aren't raised too much, nobody wants to be cruel.

Surprise someone

I know we show our appreciation on Mother's and Father's Day but still, particularly if people are on their own, it's nice to feel that you are loved - send flowers to your mum or an "I Love You" mug to your dad. They won't expect it and will be thrilled to be thought of.

Restaurants are always packed on Valentine's Day - full of little tables for two. Your favourite local never feels the same on this night. If you are determined to go out together for a romantic meal why not try something different. What about a picnic (I know it's winter) but if it's a bright, dry day nothing could be nicer. You could take hot chicken or sausages, flasks of soup and a bottle of red wine. Find a sheltered spot somewhere beautiful and tuck in. You can always drop into the local pub for something warming once you've had your lunch.

Whatever you do for Valentines Day do it with the ones you love.

Andrea Cox writes editorial for Emma Bridgewater UK, a company that specialises in handmade pottery and kitchen accessories that are ideal as Valentine's gifts.

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Singles Want More Online Dating Website Features

By Lynn Gerino

Do Your Research: Pick the website with the best features

Instant Contact - There's no doubt the instant messenger services provide the best and most accessible way to find people on the internet. However easy and convenient the messengers are they in of themselves don't guarantee that singles are easily found on these services. Enter the online dating services. Most of the better online services provide a method of contact either in a chatroom setting or an instant messenger solution. Some of the better sites allow you to use your favorite instant messenger onsite.

"Send a Rose"- a great way to let someone know that you are interested. Some sites call them "icebreakers" or "kisses" or "winks". Some of the better sites allow you to send multiple icebreaker messages with the ability to block unwanted messages.

Custom Search - search with as many criteria as you like. Choose from a location, sex, sexual preference, age, ethnicity, as well as profession, appearance and even personal qualities. Not many websites allow you do that. Most allow you to search by gender and you spend a lot of your time paging through profiles that you aren't interested in Look for a good advanced search system because it will save you lots of time.

Singles Events - Speed dating parties, traveling agencies for singles and other entertainment events. Great for those who live in a big city, so there are many single people in your area. Only your most top quality sites have the resources to sponsor travel events or speed dating events.

Video Dating - they use live video technology and/or you can record your own audio and video clips via your webcam and upload them to your profile. It's a fairly new service offered only by the better quality dating websites.

Audio and Video Chat - live audio chat rooms where you can talk to many at once or privately one-to-one all without exchanging telephone numbers and incurring long distance charges using the internet's newest technology Voip (voice over IP). Video chats using the same technology as the audio with the added component of live video. It's a new service offered only by top-quality dating websites.

©Lynn Gerino - resource articles for topics in family, lifestyle, religion, relationships and more.
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