Relationship Advice From My Ex-Husband

By Myla Madson

The Internet is full of relationship advice. There are more self proclaimed relationship experts out there than there are couples that are in need of their help. So, I thought I would shine a different light on the subject and present you with...relationship advice from my Ex.

Out of 1,000 men who were asked if they knew what their wife's favorite flower was, 999 of them said, Pillsbury. The other guy said he had no idea, but that if he could get his wife to cook, there would not be any problems in their relationship in the first place.

It's not about the quality of the sex; it's all about the quantity, why can't women get that?

Of course men have "feelings" and "wants"... I want a beer now, I feel like watching football now, I want you naked now, I want you to stop talking now. In fact, men probably have more "feelings" than women do.

It's NOT the dress that makes you look fat.

I think Albert Einstein said it best when discussing why so many marriages fail; "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed". I certainly think men are on the losing side of this equation.

If a woman would look at a potential spouse and ask the question... Is this the guy I want my future children to spend their weekends with? Maybe they wouldn't have so much to complain about all the time.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth...Deal with it.

If women could apply the same logic they use when informing us guys how stupid it is to watch race cars go around in circles for five hours to the idea of spending fifty bucks to get their nails done every two weeks, the divorce rate could be cut in half.

Before getting married, a man should have a clear idea on what "forever" actually means...sex with the same woman for the rest of your life!

The secret to a successful marriage is to not be around each other to much.

And there you have it. It's clearly evident, at least it is to me, that men and women are different.

Seems so obvious, but when you're in a relationship, many couples often fail to make this distinction and aren't willing to allow the possibility of conflicting views without it turning into a true relationship conflict.

I certainly understand this now but I realize it would not have saved our marriage anyway. The comment that it wasn't the dress that made me look fat, was completely unforgiveable and certainly grounds for divorce!

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