Thursday, March 27, 2008

Making A Relationship Last

By A Aaron

I'm sure you've wondered why there are some women who have longer, happier relationships with the men in their lives than others? You've probably attributed it to the men (they had all the great qualities), or the attraction between them (it was true love), or they were simply compatible (they were "meant" for each other).

The truth is, there are no rules in the dating game. Everything happens spontaneously. You can't say you're in love, but you just feel it in the gut. I'm sure you've felt this before with a man in your life, and that's the easy part - most women know how to get into a relationship. The tricky part is in keeping the relationship growing.

Many women tend to take along some hurts from previous relationships. And when they see these hurts about to resurface in their present relationship, they do everything in their power to fix it and keep it from "getting in the way" again.

The problem is that men do not take all this fuss very well. They see you as making such a big deal out of a little problem, and no amount of convincing, explaining, and arguing can make them see things the way you do. Needless to say, this disagreement can escalate until the relationship falls apart.

Here's how to keep your emotions from getting in the way of a good relationship:

1) Establish a deeper emotional connection with your man. It's easy to fall in love with a guy with just his looks, but it takes a deeper emotional connection to make a relationship last. Focus on his good attributes and learn to appreciate them, diverting your attention from any gnawing issues you might find.

2) Understand your man better - go the extra mile and try to be in touch with his interests and beliefs. This makes your relationship more interesting, and it opens the doors to a more giving (and forgiving) setup with him. He'll appreciate the fond attention, and will be more likely to reciprocate your efforts.

3) Don't give in to him too easily. When a guy tells you that he'd like to get involved in a deeper relationship right after the first date, don't fall into the trap. Firstly, rushing into a relationship will make him lose interest in you in a heartbeat, and the relationship will end just as quickly. Set your terms and tell him what you're expecting in a relationship. Whether he gets motivated or shies away, you rid yourself of a great deal of emotional trauma.

4) Keep communicating with him. The more the two of you talk about yourselves, the better your chances of establishing a deeper connection with him in all aspects of the relationship.

Don't waste your time looking for Mr Perfect. Relationships don't simply fall into place - it takes a lot of work on the part of both you and your man. So next time you feel that deep attraction for your man, make sure you do your part - if you do, chances are he'll do the same, and the relationship will only get better from there.

Find out the five kinds of relationships you should avoid. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=A_Aaron

Are You In A Healthy Relationship

By Jeana Caldwell

First if you are in an abusive relationship it is unacceptable and you should seek help.

Simple Questions you can ask yourself:

Are you happy?

Are you allowed to be yourself?

Are you having fun?

Are you treated the way you feel you should be treated, and with that being said are you treating your partner with the same respect?

Just understand that I believe not all healthy relationship ends in marriage. Some are just the next step to another wonderful relationship. The reasons I am saying this is that not all divorces were the result of a relationship failure. I think each relationship is a way to teach you more about yourself. If you can learn something about why things went wrong and how you can carry that knowledge on with you to the next. When I started dating I meet a man I would have married in a heartbeat because one I thought he was the one I wanted, and two I thought I was madly in love with him. Hind-sight is always 20/20 and as I have grown and dated more I have learned that although it wasn't the best relationship it wasn't the worst.

And as a result I have come to learn things about myself. Such as what I want, what I can bring to a relationship, and that I am okay with being alone. I have learned how to appreciate and accept who I am and what I am about. I believe to be in a healthy relationship you must learn to love yourself first and foremost. You need to have high standards and high self-esteem. As the saying goes don't settle for just any Tom Dick or Harry, there is other fish in the sea. And I can't begin to tell how true that statement is. I have dated a variety of different men I have seen abuse first hand, and I have told myself but no-one else would want me. Wrong... wrong...

There is someone out there for everyone but I believe there is more then one someone for all of us. If you happened to be one of the few that dated in school and married and are still completely happy good for you, but that is not to say that tomorrow all of that isn't gone. Life is a wonderful but it can also be very cruel. I too was married once and it was wonderful everything was great. I told myself I would never love another he was the one meant for me. One day my world came crashing down he never came home. I found out he was in a terrible car accident and was care-flighted to a hospital where he was in a coma. I went to the hospital and watched the horrific seen though what seemed to be someone else's eyes.

I was numb and in denial I could not believe this could happen to me, it just could not. I mean I understood it happens but you just never expect it to happen to you. While I was there for a month I seen people come and go. One guy had tried to commit suicide by shooting himself in the head twice. He lived and went on for therapy I felt angry why did he get to go on while my lover still clung to death? A month went by and I was told they were sending him to a nursing home. I made the arrangements we moved him but nothing really changed. He could breath on his own but if you looked in his eyes he wasn't there anymore.

After a year of waiting I was advised to move on. How could I didn't I love him enough to be able to endure this for both of us? I had to get a divorce in order to be able to own my own home, because he was put on Medicare. Medicare is wonderful but it was intended for people who are older with fixed income. Not twenty year old newly weds and one who had a life yet to live. Three years passed and I meet someone new. Someone I had known all my life and he inspired me to try again. So I moved on, I still feel the loss and some regret, but I am grateful for the time I did have. I learned an important lesson never take your time here on earth for granted live life everyday to the fullest.

Remember the three L's live laugh, and love. So like I said not every divorce is a failure learn something and take it with you to the next relationship. And remember that the first thing to a successful happy healthy relationship begins with you.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeana_Caldwell

Friday, March 21, 2008

Relationship Tips for Women - How to Ask Men to Wear Condoms

By Ken Brower

In the modern setting, people are very open to the use of different types of contraceptives. However, through the years, there is one observation that women are crying foul about. Women, in most cases are left to bear the burden of responsibility in ensuring the sexual encounter would be safe and protected. Many experts and feminists argue that it is way too unfair and stressful, and as such can make sex much less appealing for women.

If you are into a relationship and you and your partner decide to be intimate, there is a need to put contraceptives in place. If both of you are already aware of the numerous types of contraceptives available in the market, for sure, there would not be much problem about the contraceptives to be used.

Usually, there surfaces a problem about who would be responsible for the contraceptives. While there are many forms of contraceptives for women, like birth control pills, injections, sponges and IUDs, there are only two known contraceptives for men. Those are vasectomy and the use of condoms.

Vasectomy is seldom chosen. That is because this surgical operation is done to cut a tube within the testicles that is essential for the passing and release of the sperm cells, which unite with women's egg cells to form fetuses in wombs. For some men, the process is frightening because of its permanency. That is because the man's ability to induce pregnancy or conception would be removed for life. Some men do not welcome the operations because of fear that sexual performance would be altered.

The use of condoms is then quite obviously the most common form of contraceptives for men. Through condoms, the semen that contains the sperm cells would be prevented from entering a woman's womb. The condom is the most accessible, cheapest and easiest to use form of male contraceptives. It is also significantly less costly compared to almost all female contraceptives.

Now the problem is how to ask men to wear condoms. Some men, when caught up in the moment, are just not sensitive and considerate on women's basic rights and feelings. It is old-fashioned and archaic to think it is the woman's sole responsibility to put contraceptives in place because she will be the one who will conceive and get pregnant.

As simple advise, it would be effective if you would openly and diplomatically ask your partner to wear condoms. If he asks why you do not want female contraceptives, tell him it is because condoms are the cheapest and most reliable. There would be no side effects for the both of you, unlike in female contraceptives that incur several noticeable and negligible adverse side effects.

You could both attend a safe sex counseling session. If the efforts still fail, it would be time you assess your relationship. Men should also be sensitive and considerate about women's feelings and rights. Sex is both enjoyed by both genders. Why would women solely bear the burden of contraception? It is time to be fair. Besides, it does not hurt to wear condoms. The most common complaint, that condoms reduce sensation, can be alleviated by making sure both of you pick out a condom that works well within your sexual relationship. As such, open communication and discussion is the most important part of securing a healthy and safe sexual relationship.

CondomMan.com is a leading online retailer of condoms, selling name brand condoms like Durex, Trojan condoms Lifestyles and Crown condoms for the best prices online. Buy the Best Condoms Online from Condom Man. Learn how to put on a condom, how to choose the right condom for you, and more.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ken_Brower

A True Customer Relationship

By Dan Mercurio

Customer Relationship Management! When we hear this term it conjures up a lot of ideas about how a business views their relationship with the average everyday modern consumer. Are they looking for loyalty, is it a one night stand or are they in it for the long haul hoping for a lasting relationship for years to come. Customer Relationship Management or (CRM) as it is more commonly known can be renamed to a more appropriate phrase. CRM in its broadest sense to be truly effective really should be called Customer Relations Marketing. Just a slight twist on how this is viewed means that the need to understand the needs, wants and desires of your customers and potential customers is the single most important factor.

One industry in particular today, the automotive industry is most affected by this trend. How a customer is treated when they walk into their dealership can mean the difference in making a sale and getting repeat business and having your name drug through the mud for treating someone as though they were nothing more than another number.

In today's world where the first introduction between a customer and a dealer can be made from a computer monitor and keyboard, a dealer must work twice as hard to win over that customer. The old adage of do unto others is paramount in relating to today's customers. They do not like being considered faceless numbers in a data base somewhere. Establishing a rapport with a new car buyer begins the very first moment the customer enters the front door. What is the motivation that has brought them to your dealership?

For those dealers that have been around for awhile such as Ford NH and Dallas Mazda, they have been through enough automotive sales training programs that try to help set some guidelines for how to establish the rapport or relationship with the shopper that may not make sense for today's new age customers. Knowing the reasons why consumers make the decisions they do helps direct the dealer towards what they need to offer in the way of services.

New dealers such as Audi Stratham and Porsche of Stratham are trying to appeal to their customers by blending a little bit of the traditional with the more modern pizzazz available with many website designs. Today's customers want to be entertained while shopping and the torrent of Flash and Glitz that comes with so many of the new web sites are designed to grab you attention and pull you in.

Recently I overheard one sales person say that after introducing their self, they like to sit with a customer and get some basic information because it helps them to better understand the needs of the customer. It's using principals like this that will allow dealers to continue the approach of hands on, get inside the head of the customer with what are they looking for and find out what more can I offer to cause someone to go from computer screen to a dealers front door.

Dan Mercurio is president of Elite-Search Engine Optimization Company specializing in SEO/SEM. We can create an SEO/SEM camapign together for you as we have for Audi Seacoast and Porsche North Shore

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dan_Mercurio

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dating Relationship Tip - Don't Let Obama or Clinton Screw Up Your Dating Relationship

By Daryl Campbell

You consider it nothing less than a minor miracle that you are still in this particular dating relationship. Yes you both really like each other and on many topics the two of you are in agreement or at least capable of understanding the other person's point of view. At times you even get the crazy idea that there is no obstacle either of you cannot overcome on your way to building a deep long lasting relationship.

Tonight however was not one of those times. The evening started out pretty good but somewhere between the end of the movie and saying goodnight, you got into a doozy of an argument with your date. What is about commitment, relatives, friends or the quality of the movie? The answer is none of the above. It was all about politics. Again.

There has never been a time when politics was not a hot button issue. For whatever reason, it arouses the passion and fire in people like few subjects can. That zeal seems to have reached a new level of intensity with the world we live in today. Talk radio, cable news, blogging and political forums combined with an exciting race for the Presidency seem to have elevated politics to center stage almost twenty four hours a day.

And lets face it some people love it. Whether it's an exchange of ideas, staying informed or just the thrill of a good argument, many people (including you) gravitate to this subject without any hesitation.

Is it okay in a relationship? Sure. All you have to do is look no further than James Carville and Mary Matlin to see diametrically opposite political views living under one roof.

But no matter how the both of you feel about politics, constant arguing can get old especially when it seeps into additional areas of your relationship. Neither one of you is willing to give up your political convictions but do yourself a favor and set some ground rules.

1. The Agree to Disagree

In many cases it does not matter what you say or what evidence you present, the other person is not going to budge. That's fine except the fact that they are entitled to their opinion and move on. Sometimes people believe if they say it long enough the other person will see the error of their ways. Well guess what? They are probably thinking along the same lines. Agree to disagree and let it go.

2. Listen

One of the things about political discussion is people cannot wait to give their opinion without taking in fully what the other person is saying. Not listening can lead to greater misunderstanding and more unnecessary arguing. You may want to hurry up and give your judgment concerning the last point your date commented on but take a step back and keep your ears open. You may find what they said was not only correct but that you agree with them.

3. Respect

No matter the dynamics of the discussion you should convey to your date that you are not trying to belittle them in anyway. Disrespect will only cause them to harden their point of view. Thank them for trusting you enough to share their opinion on a subject that they feel passionate about. Let them know that political debate is only a small fraction of why you are in this relationship.

4. Humor

Let's be honest. There has never been and will never be a perfect politician. They are some of the most peculiar and flawed individuals that you will ever meet. Have some humor at their expense. That does not mean always making fun of the other person's political heroes; do not be afraid to laugh at the ones on you hold dear. As the great humorist Will Rogers said, "People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke." As you can see not much has changed since Rogers' time.

In a dating relationship, it maybe better to avoid politics altogether but neither one of you wants to. You both like it and feel very strongly. That is okay as long as you put some ground rules in place. Agree to disagree, listen, respect the other person and have a sense of humor about it. Many couples despite having radically different views on a subject continue to enjoy a strong healthy relationship. There is no reason why you cannot do the same when it comes to politics.

Article written by Daryl Campbell. Barack and Hillary would agree that politics is a passionate subject. If handled right it can definitely spice up a relationship. This requires among other things good communication and the willingness to give so you can get. Find out more at The Relationship Tip.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Daryl_Campbell

Getting Over a Relationship Through the Law of Attraction

By Beth Mccain and Lee McCain

Your mind keeps wandering back to the last great time you had with your ex, and you just can't seem to get over the breakup. How can the Law of Attraction help you with this?

Give yourself some time to get over the initial sting of the breakup and then focus on your needs at this time. Going through a breakup can be emotionally as well as mentally draining. The best thing that you can do for yourself right now is to make sure that you are being pampered.

In the Law of Attraction, whatever you put the most focus toward, will attract to you what you focus on. If you spend too much time focusing on the breakup, the Universe will bring you more of the feelings surrounding your breakup. You're going to want to take your focus off the hurt of your breakup and see what life holds for you beyond this relationship.

Start focusing on what you are going to do with your life now that it is just you. Surround yourself with friends who encourage and talk beyond the breakup. Don't surround yourself with people who enjoy complaining about the pain of life.

Do something for you that you wouldn't normally do; something that tells you that you are paying special attention yourself. Maybe you can take yourself to a movie or buy that shirt that you saw the other day, just remember that even though you have suffered a breakup, it doesn't mean that you stop enjoying life. Breakups happen and look at it as a page in the book of your life that you can look back on and know that you learned from that experience. But like a book, keep reading your book and move forward.

By concentrating on you and what makes you happy, the Universe will attract to you exactly that: Whatever makes you happy. Each day will become a little easier and then you will be ready to search for the "someone" you are looking to spend your life with. The best you can do is live and make the most of your days. Pretty soon the breakup will be just a word, and you will have moved on to a better relationship.

Think good thoughts, feel good feelings, pamper yourself, and don't lose hope of the ideal relationship.

Visualize yourself in a relationship that has all the qualities you want and enjoy life. That's all you have to do, and the Universe will do the rest by bringing you enjoyable life experiences in the meantime. And, if you play your cards right, a relationship that is exactly what you desire through the Law of Attraction will soon blossom and these hard days will be a faded memory.

Beth and Lee McCain are full time instructors and lecturers in applying the Law of Attraction, or better known as the Secret, in your life to attain whatever you desire. They have a great radio show on Youtube that is both entertaining as well as informative on the subject of the Law of Attraction. For more information on Beth and Lee products and services, please visit: Beth and Lee McCain Law of Attraction Web Site

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Beth_Mccain

Sunday, March 16, 2008

How to Attract & Create a Lasting Relationship With the Kind of Person You've Always Wanted

By Pushpa Pal Singh

How often do we complain in life that we never find the right person or the one we are looking for is already taken? You see the thing is that what you are looking for is right there but you are not looking hard enough. And at the same time when we do find the right person we are not able to maintain the relationship in the long term and than we start thinking about where we went wrong. Read on to discover some of the most stunning secrets on how to create a lasting relationship with the kind of person you have always wanted...

Learn to be a listener- To really create long lasting relationships you need to be a good listener. You see often when your partner isn't heard he or she starts feeling neglected and this is where the relationship truly suffers. Therefore it is extremely important to be a good listener at times and keep the opinions of your partner in mind.

Positivity is the key- Every person wants to be and remain positive. How would you like to be stuck with someone who is negative all the time and is complaining about one thing or the other all the time? This is the reason why you need to maintain a positive attitude throughout and avoid negativity at all costs.

Get rid of all insecure feelings- Insecurity is often the reason why most breakups and poor relationships. You see if you are insecure about yourself you will start acting possessive and would emotionally push your partner away. The best possible way to keep others happy in our company is to be comfortable with ourselves first.

What you don't know yet- Ever tried to wonder what's in a woman's mind? What is she thinking about? Do you know that women do not always mean what they say? They might say something and mean the exact opposite. But what do women actually want? Do you know there are some secrets women don't want men to know but men absolutely must know these secrets in order to succeed with women? Read on to discover some of the most "Shocking Secrets" women don't want men to know- 9 Most Shocking Secrets Women don't want men to know

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Pushpa_Pal_Singh

The One Benefit Of A Long Distance Relationship

By Jeff Lim

Did I mention that there is one benefit to having a long distance relationship? It puts money into the pockets of big airline corporations such as Virgin Atlantic, gas stations like Chevron and big phone companies like Verizon. They thank you very much for your business. Unfortunately for couples, there are no benefits for being in a long distance relationship. There is as enormous complexity of factors involved that make it difficult.

Let me tell you about the story of John and Jane. John lives in Los Angeles and Jane lives in New York. They both met at a party when Jane was in town on a business trip. The first problem that the two have is which one is the person that is going to be moving? Is either person willing to sacrifice their job or career for perhaps a lower pay or standard of living? What about leaving friends and family behind? If Jane is not moving to LA and John is not moving to New York, then why are they talking at all?

The second problem is that long distance relationships give a false sense of hope to one another. It may appear to raise each other's interest level, but in reality, it doesn't. It is the anticipation of meeting again that causes the interest to rise, creating a false sense of love. Any time your partner calls, you jump at the chance to talk. You never put her on hold or tell her that you're too busy with something else right now. Everything in your life gets put on hold to give her all of your attention.

The third problem that you have is that you can't bond if you're not around. There is a saying that "actions speak louder than words." You develop trust and comfort with that person when you are spending time together doing things. It allows you to see their personality, how the person reacts and how the person treats you. You can only judge a person's interest through their actions and body language which you obviously can't see in a LDR. Romance and love is by and large non-verbal, from the way you look at each other to the simple hugs given at the right moment when you need them. So what is the point of seeing each other every 3 or 6 months?

Problem number four is trying to make up for the distance by talking on the phone way too much. How does talking four or five times on a daily basis allow a relationship to build? Would you believe someone that is thousands of miles away who kept saying "I love you"! It's all talk and a phone call is definitely a poor substitute for a hug.

How about the 50 emails you send her everyday or the hours you spend instant messaging? What good does that do to building the relationship? But at the end, what do you really find out about that person? Did you go to their house? Did you see how she treats their parents or siblings? Maybe you did go to their place for a weekend. But yeah, you could have gone on a good day where she didn't treat her parents the way she usually does. Since you never see each other in normal day to day life, you lack the true knowledge of the other person and that is where the big problem lies.

The fifth problem is that it is a waste of money. Depending on where you are flying to and from, you can be spending thousands of dollars per year to see each other (and the false hope also). You may be going over your minutes and end up racking up $400 dollars per month phone bills. What about buying phone cards for international calls on a monthly basis? You may end up spending hundreds of dollars per year purchasing them. All this wasted money can be spent on building a relationship with someone who is close by.

Finally, It is a waste of time waiting for someone that is thousands of miles away. The fact is that no relationship, near of far, is 100% guaranteed. But the mere attempt at a long distance relationship increases the odds close to 100% that it is NOT going to work.

So what makes you think that your long distance love is going to be a hermit once he/she has committed to you? Most likely they won't be. They still have to go to work, go shopping, stop by the bank and go to the gym. Thus, they will be meeting others too, increasing the likelihood that they will meet someone that is better than you. If you are not there, then they have to fill that void with someone else. It's just the basic human need to be with others.

For John and Jane, their expectations of each other are skyrocketing even though they haven't seen each other in months. However, when they do get together as an exclusive couple, they would just end up at the start because they are really strangers to each other. The phone company AT&T almost had it right. Reach out but this time, don't touch someone.

Jeff is passionate about personal development topics and helping others find their true calling. More articles can be found at http://handylifeadvice.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jeff_Lim

Thursday, March 13, 2008

How To Enhance Your Long Distance Relationship Step By Step

By Francis K Githinji

Do long distance relationships work or is it just a waste of time? There are people who find love far and wide. They are not restricted in any way by geographical boundaries. They are exploring looking for love through the chat rooms and dating sites on the Internet. The modern technology has made long distance relationship a success and even better than a normal relationship. The sophistication of such a relationship is one to be admired. Many are of the idea that their love can get greater than geography; that their true mates are far away in a different country, state or even continent. How do you make a long distance relationship work?

You might be physically apart but your hearts are so much together. To make your long distance relationship work, agree on how often you will keep in touch. You will agree with me that communication is the number one ingredient to a relationship that works. You can be together but you have to be forced to talk. It doesn't matter where you are geographically as long as you communicate. For instance you can agree to be calling each other at night either two or three times. You can as well send several e-mails a day. Nowadays people are mostly using e-mail and phones to kill distance but it would be a special treat to drop a hand written letter at your lovers home. It gives them butterflies and a feeling that you are closer.

When you are discussing the contacts issue, discuss about your physical visits. Who should visit who first and how often. This will clear the course your long distance relationship will be taking. What do you talk about in your conversations? Do you continuously whine about how much you love and miss each other? Considerable content of this is fine but do not dwell on it day in day out. Let your long distance relationship partner feel part of your life by telling him/her your every day experiences. Tell them about your nagging neighbor, your experience with the bad smelling guy you sat next to in the bus and may be an unexpected car puncture.

You should not wait until the time you will physically come together. You should practice phone sex to keep each other faithful and trusted. Spice up your feelings and enjoy your time apart by having sex the fantasizing way. The brain is the greatest sex organ and you have it with you. Make it happen by the descriptions of your love making through the small gadget. Send to each other dirty stories or lyrics via e-mail or put it in phone lines. Provided you do not print them you are still safe. Finally, to enhance long distance relationship, you should stay active in your social life. Meet your other friends and have fun. The last thing you want is to be home so alone and bored. This will make you resent your partner for being so far away from you.

Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest Project Long Distance Relationship Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Long Distance Relationship

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Francis_K_Githinji

7-Step Foolproof Guide to Creating a Terrible Relationship

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

No one SAYS they want a terrible relationship, yet so many people go about creating them that we need to assume they must WANT them! So, here's my 7 Step foolproof guide to creating a terrible relationship.

1. Take no responsibility for your own feelings

Make sure that you do not take responsibility for your own feelings and your own sense of safety and security. Make sure that you ignore your feelings enough so that you create an empty black hole inside that needs to be filled up by sex, things, or by someone else's love or attention.

2. Find someone to do it for you

Look for someone to fill your emptiness, someone to make you feel loved, happy, safe and secure. A good way to determine if this is the right person is if he or she comes on REALLY strong, promising you the world, or at least great sex.

3. Once you find the right person, be sure to behave in one of the two following ways:

a. Completely give yourself up

Completely put yourself aside, focusing all your attention on the other person's feelings and needs. Your hope is that if you are wonderful enough and sacrifice yourself enough, the other person will give you the love you are seeking. Be sure to completely ignore your own feelings and needs, no matter what the other person does. Be the best caretaker you can be to try to have control over getting the other person's love and approval.

b. Demand the other person live up to your expectations

Start slow, gradually building to becoming more and more demanding of the other person. If he or she doesn't meet your expectations, be sure to criticize, blame, chastise, berate, threaten, ignore, yell at, belittle, lecture, debate, and argue with your partner. Your job is to gain control over getting the other person to completely give him or herself up and focus only on filling your emptiness and needs with their love, approval, attention, sex, devotion, time, and adoration. Be the best taker you can be, making sure to keep your partner feeling guilty and responsible for your feelings of security and self-esteem.

4. Be the victim

As your relationship starts to decline, move more and more into thinking and behaving as a victim of the other person's choices. This will lead to more fights or to distance, lack of passion, lack of fun, and a complete inability to communicate about anything, even minor situations. In any discussions, be sure to seek to be right, win your point, and make your partner wrong. After all, this is a competition for who is the good one and the right one. Or, just collapse and give in, a great way to be a victim.

5. Withdraw

Start to spend less and less time with your partner, spending it alone or with other people, or in front of the TV. Convince yourself that your misery is completely your partner's fault, and that you picked the wrong person, again. NEVER EVER take any responsibility for your own feelings, needs, behavior, and choices. Never forget that you are the victim.

6. Get your partner into counseling

Seek counseling to get your partner to change. Do NOT enter counseling to deal with your own controlling behavior of being a taker or caretaker. Rather, be sure to tell the therapist everything your partner does wrong, using the therapist's office as just another arena to prove that you are right and your partner is wrong, or you are the good one and your partner is the bad one.

7. You did it!

Congratulations! You have succeeded in creating a terrible relationship! Now you can miserably and righteously leave your partner and do the whole thing again! You get to complain to all your friends about what a terrible person your ex-partner is and get sympathy for all you've been though. What a reward for all your hard work!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Margaret_Paul,_Ph.D.

How to Benefit From Your Workplace-Business Relationships

By Vincent Kituku

You are always an integral part of an association, whether you are aware of it or not. The largely overlooked associations are the employer-employee partnership and professional partnership. Your ability to thrive, in your professional endeavors, at all times depends on how healthy your association is. Your growth also means more benefits for your partner, whether an employer or a colleague with whom you exchange ideas, services or products.

In ecological studies, one is exposed to a variety of associations, including parasitic-where an organism, like blood suckers, feeds and survives at the expense of a host. The host may die thus leading to the death of the parasite. That's a detrimental association.

In a symbiotic relationship, both organisms survive and live together. A symbiotic relationship is the association where two different species live together, each benefiting, in one way or another, from its associate. Take a rhino and a certain species of birds-they live symbiotically. Each depends on the other for survival. The rhino has ticks that the bird needs for food. The bird helps the rhino in two ways. It remove ticks from the rhino's body and when it (the bird) sees an animal that might attack the rhino, it jumps up and down making the rhino know it is time to run for cover. They need each other.

If you build and treat your employer-employee partnership or professional association from a symbiotic relationship perspective, you increase your odds of always having a job, professional growth or business opportunities. The resources that you need to thrive under different circumstances will be within your reach in most cases.

Here are top on how to benefit from a symbiotic relationship.

1. Be governed by one motive-that, "What you do for yourself can get you by. What you do for others is what will get you ahead; whether in your profession, spiritual pursuits or relationships."

2. Know what the other party wants from the association. What skills do your think your employer needs to be profitable? What services, ideas or products does the other party want by associating with you?

3. You must be clear on what you want from the association before you waste your time, energy or even tangible resources.

4. Commit to give your best for the survival and thriving of the other party. Think about it, it's hard to be the first one to be downsized by a company that you have helped become profitable. It's hard for another party not to give you businesses if you have helped them succeed.

5. Always check with the other party to see whether or not it is still satisfied with your input, or your quality of services or products.

6. Be courageous enough to share ideas on how things can be improved, whether you are rewarded for your ideas or not.

7. Keep improving what you offer to the association, even when the improvement is not expected.

8. When things change, notify the other party before they learn about it from another source.

A leaders motivational keynote speaker and trainer, Dr. Vincent Muli Kituku, CSP works with organizations and individuals who want to increase their productivity, stay focused and have a sustained desire to make success a lifestyle and a choice. Vincent's inspirational speeches are catalysts for unlimited results that have led to Dr. Kituku being described as a research-based motivational speaker/trainer. His storytelling skills have won awards for both spoken and written words are attributed to improved morale, accountability, motivation and ownership by all employees. Dr. Kituku is one of the less than 7% speakers to earn the coveted Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) recognition, the highest designation presented by the National Speakers Association.

Wherever he speaks, people from all backgrounds agree that words cannot describe Vincent but that he must be experienced. His ability to captivate audiences with content, interaction and entertainment has made him not only a sought after speaker but an annual presenter for key organizations. No one is ever the same after listening and applying Dr. kituku's strategies and wisdom into their work and life endeavors.

The impact of Dr. Kituku's memorable speeches and workshops has propelled him into a league of his own. He has given presentations to Fortune 500 and Fortune 1000 Companies including HP, CISCO, MICRON, and GENWORTH FINANCIAL. His insights have been sought after by Workforce Development Agencies, Association of Corporate Executives, Chambers of Commerce, Realtors, and National and International associations. He has worked with college football teams including the perpetual champions, the Boise State Football Team since 1998. He can be reached at http://www.kituku.com or by calling (208) 376-8724

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vincent_Kituku

Monday, March 10, 2008

Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage

By John Foley

You hear this over and over,'how do I save my marriage'. Well you can stop your divorce and save your marriage, all that matters is whether or not YOU REALLY WANT TO save your marriage and your relationship. Sometimes when you are experiencing a lot of marital problems and issues, divorce becomes an option without realizing that you really can stop your divorce and save your marriage.

Most marriages start to fail when you stop listening to each other. Open communication is very important to stopping your divorce and saving your marriage. Marriage has its ups and downs and sometimes you get confused on how to make things work. Jobs, kids and other responsibilities also make it hard to focus on each other and sometimes marriage becomes a routine instead of a happy, healthy and loving relationship, and so you find your spouse and yourself are maybe facing a potential divorce situation, but you truly love your spouse and want to save your marriage.

Nobody enters a marriage with divorce on their minds for the future, but it is still happening at an alarmingly high rate. The divorce rate is 50 for second time marriages. There are a lot of couples who give up on their marriage unnecessarily, not knowing what to do and they think ending the marriage is the best solution. Sometimes when you are experiencing a lot of marital problems and issues, divorce becomes an option without realizing that you can stop your divorce and save your marriage.

Some people choose to have a counselor or therapist help them save their marriage, and this is definitely a viable avenue to seek out , but some so-called marriage therapists sometimes tend to confuse the issues, pitting one person against the other and a lot of times things just some how, do not get resolved. So you might want to give this some great thought before you pay some therapist $60 to $150 or more to make your marriage worse. Many couples give up their marriage and go through so much pain because they do not know how to deal with their marital problems. But these easy steps will help you save your marriage, and will show you how to save your marriage with "Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage, a must read! Here is just SOME of the marriage saving action-advice you will find inside "Stop Your Divorce And Save Your Marriage":

(Pages 8-9)Little known facts you may not have considered involving the economics of divorce (including the true financial cost of ending your marriage). (Page 16)Why negative thinking may be the real culprit behind your failing marriage. (Page 20)7 simple pleasures of marriage you may have forgotten about. (Page 21)The unspoken, unwritten 2nd contract of marriage that successful couples abide by. (Page 22)The secret to a successful marriage through partnership. (Page 23)The difference between the sexes and how to use it to help (not hurt) your marriage. (Pages 31-32)A new way for looking at money and finances (that might save your marriage). (Pages 33-34)How to recognize turning points in your marriage and stop last chances from becoming lost chances. (Pages 35-36)5 fundamentals that every marriage expert or counselor agrees is crucial to your relationships happiness. (Pages 37-38)What friendship means inside a marriage (and how to find it).

Basically it really comes down to this,...if you really want to stop your divorce and save your marriage, you will eventually come to the realization and learn to accept that you and your spouse are not perfect and have to love each other unconditionally,

When you click the link below now, you can stop your divorce and save your relationship before it's too late. With one in three marriages breaking up every year and the resulting effect it has on you and your family, you should at least give yourself and your marriage every opportunity to succeed. Do you want to put an end to the stress and anxiety of not knowing what to do to save your troubled marriage, then take action now and check out this report today. If this book does not help you save your marriage, or you are not happy with it for any reason, you will get a full refund guaranteed.

J. Foley Has A Very Informative Book On This Very Subject, A Must Read, And You Can Check It Out Here!

Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

How Important is Touch in a Relationship?

By Brett Smith

Have you ever held your partner’s hand and felt a tingling sensation through every cell in your body? Ever yearned for a hug from your partner, more than anything else in the world? Is it an essential part of relationships?

Humans thrive on touch. Research has shown that, for humans and animals, a lack of physical contact can lead to emotional disturbances, reduced sexual interest and even a weakened immune system.

Studies have shown that infants deprived of skin contact lose weight and can become ill. Online dating site Partner4real.com.au found that touch was as important in some relationships as sex, conversation & commitment.

"Touch is as important as breathing," explains researcher Tiffany Field. Without it, children do not grow and develop.

"Sensory deprivation makes people depressed and immune-compromised, and gives them emotional pain and physical damage," she says.

We all crave our partner’s touch but it can be difficult for some men to admit they need it. From a young age, many boys are discouraged to go running to their mother for comfort when things get tough.

When they grow into men, they may then associate hugs with weakness, and may show a lack of affection to their partners. Humans not only thrive on touch, but relationships do too.

Some women in relationships complain that their partner only initiates physical contact as a precursor to sex. And yet many women crave physical intimacy so much that they sometimes agree to have sex simply to fulfil this desire for warmth and closeness.

But there is a lot to be said for touch for touch’s sake. Listen up men: try lightly brushing your partner’s arm or gently squeezing her hand as you walk past her. And if you fancy something a little more intimate, author Valerie Ann Worwood suggests that a 10 to 15 minute massage from your partner a few times a week can work wonders in relationships.

What a fantastic element to add to your online dating profile.

Brett Smith is not your average health and online dating expert. He has some interesting and controversial views on health and how singles can get through the dating scene successfully.

Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Free Online Dating - Unraveling The Truth

By Alan Lim

To be successful on a free online dating site, you need to unravel what to do and how to make it work for you. Here are all the juicy details to help you on your way.

Have you ever wondered what it was like to date online? There is no better way to try internet dating than by joining one of the many free online dating sites that are available on the internet. You can meet a lot of nice people and who knows - you may even meet the love of your life!

There are many different free online dating sites available on the internet so finding one is not difficult. And because they are all user friendly, you will not have a problem signing up. However, you should do a few things before you start online dating:

Present your best ‘self’

Have a friend take a recent photo of yourself and include a full length photo as well. Stay away from glamour shots photos and put a photo of your every day appearance online. A full length photo is essential as many people will want to see what you look like standing up. A recent photo is essential and will ensure that anyone you meet will like your photo and the way that you look now.

Be clear on your interests

If you have certain interests, do not be shy about stating so. If you like a play or a symphony, or if you like a picnic in the woods - say so. This gives you a better chance to meet a guy or gal with whom you have something in common. Make sure that you put down everything that you like and hopefully you will meet someone on the free online dating site that will share some of these interests.

Be confident

Make sure that you exude confidence when you begin dating. If you do not like yourself, chances are that you will not find others who will like you, either. The secret to successful free online dating can be summed up in one word - confidence. Once you have that, you do not need anything else. Make sure that you take tips on building up your confidence when you are dating and others will follow. Everyone likes someone who has confidence.

Give them a chance

Do not be quick to judge a person by a photo. If they seem really nice in e-mail and you have a lot of common with them, you never know about someone until you meet them in person. When you are using a free online dating site, be prepared to meet many different people before you choose one with whom you want to form a relationship.

There are many internet dating sites today and all are relatively easy to join. Having a photo that is recent not only will get you more responses on your profile, but will insure that anyone who responds is interested in you for you.

Joining a free online dating site can be so much fun and you will meet a lot of interesting people. Some may just be friends, but you never know - you may actually end up meeting the love of your life on one of the many free dating sites on the internet.

Getting in tune with what is required is just the first step. From here you need the right resource to help you get started. You can find that here on Internet Dating or Free Online Dating

Article Source: http://www.amazines.com/Dating/article_detail.cfm/434218?articleid=434218

Marriage Issues and Divorce Advice

By Steve Knowles

Months of planning lead to that one special day when two people are joined in matrimony. The petty fights about what color to have on the reception tables are quickly forgotten as vows are exchanged. A new life begins with all its intricate glories and hidden pitfalls.

The marriage license is not a guarantee that all will go smoothly and that a breakup cannot occur. Marriage is much like a full time job. Both parties have to be fully committed to making things work. It is not always fifty-fifty.

Marriage issues do arise though, and it is how these problems are dealt with, along with the severity that can make or break a relationship. Most people can identify with the huge issues that cause divorce such as infidelity or abuse. But cheating is not the only destroyer of wedding bliss. Marriage counselors giving divorce advice can attest to the number of clients through their doors that are fighting over different reasons.

Financial burdens, children and even in-laws can be the basis of marriage issues. There is even marriage issue that might center around who is responsible for leaving dirty laundry on the floor. This might not seem like much of a transgression but to someone who is obsessive compulsive about neatness, it could be a big issue.

There will never be a couple that does not have some marriage issue to deal with. It is impossible, as humans, to be in close contact with someone for extended periods of time without having some sort of conflict. The best way to deal with arguments and fighting is to stop and gain control over one's emotions and try to let tempers cool for a bit.

Another way many husbands, wives and partners handle problems is to talk it over with a close friend who is not judgmental. Sometimes the very airing out of the fight or problem can help the person see where the true marriage issues lay. For those couples and families who cannot find resolution there is always marriage and family counseling. It provides an atmosphere where all parties can address grievances or hurts that might have been caused due to conflicts.

Regardless of what the problems are or what marriage issues arise, there can be solutions and hope for repairing the damage. The crucial thing to remember is that everyone makes mistakes and everyone will hurt someone at sometime in their lives. It is how these things are atoned for that make the difference in the quality of the relationship.

The "I Do's" do not have to end in "I Don't". There is always a chance to begin to repair things and make the marriage stronger, it just takes work, divorce advice and perseverance to over come some marriage issues that most couples face.

Article Source: http://www.amazines.com/Dating/article_detail.cfm/435174?articleid=435174