Friday, April 25, 2008

What The Man In Your Life Really Wants

By Paul Steven

This may sound like a bolt from the blue to a lot of Women out there but Men like surprises too! Putting some thought-process and thinking about his hobbies and personalizing your gestures will demonstrate that you do really care about him. You will surprise the man in your life with your thoughtful and tailored gift.

Here are a few offerings which might prompt you in the right direction to choosing a surprise gift - they range from the obscure to the geeky but they all have the man-factor-interest at heart.

One nice thing you could do is get him a private number plate for his car. Many men take pride in their car and enjoy spending their time to make sure it looks and runs its best. This is a good idea as it will show him that you understand his fascination with his car. If you are unable to do this in secret, go ahead and let him know about your plans. It's okay that it won't be a surprise because he will probably enjoy being involved in the process.

Buy him a gadget what man doesn't like them Many men enjoy all types of gadgets and gizmos and figuring out one that he is interested in and purchasing it for him will be a very welcomed gift. He will appreciate that while it may not be something you would want for yourself, you realize that it is something that he will enjoy.

Have you got different tastes in music why not buy him tickets to his favourite band and go with him. He will be super-sized that you got the tickets and your showing him an interest in his hobbies and taste of music.

Learning about the man in your life's favourite sport is another nice thing to do for him. He may enjoy spending his weekends watching his favourite sports teams and, if you are not normally a fan of this sport, you will surprise him by taking an active interest. Try doing some research on your own to learn a little more about his favourite sport and team and the next time he is watching a game, sit with him and ask pertinent questions. He will be astonished at your knowledge and eager to teach you more.

Doing something incredibly nice for a man doesn't have to be extravagant or complicated. Simple gestures that show that you understand his thoughts and feelings are those that will be most appreciated. In surprising the man in your life with some of these examples or other applicable things you will let him know how important he is to you.

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Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Ugly Side Of Office Relationships

By Francis K Githinji

An office environment is always a good place to meet new people who have the same interests and sometimes, the goals and ambitions. An office is always a fertile ground for working colleagues to hit it off in a relationship. It is a place where you are bound to meet new people who will always be within your proximity. Office relationships are not bad and sometimes they work but what is their impact on the general performance of an organization? The most puzzling part about office relationships is that most of them degenerate into scandals. This has forced many organizations to discourage office relationships. They always advocate for mutual friendships where teamwork is propagated in order to achieve the goals of the organization.

Office relationships are known to overly affect an employees productivity. The relationship starts to take over the dedication and interest of an employee. The attention of the employee shifts from work related duties to relationship related obligations. Office relationships are enough to distract an employee from focusing on the set goals of the office. Productivity generally goes down as much time is spent and taken by this budding relationship. It does not matter whether it is the end of a relationship or the beginning of a new one, but all staff will form an opinion about a relationship that starts in the office. It has an overall effect of undermining and distracting the immediate team and beyond. The germination of a relationship marks the beginning of problems in an organization. This is because all employees can see what is going on and this affects their productivity.

Office relationships have also more complex issues to contemplate and consider. A growing relationship or affair in the office is a mine field literally speaking. First of all, does it conform to the organizations code of ethics? The mode of communication leaves a lot of loop holes that can be used against you if the relationship goes sour. This is especially true considering the endless and risky e-mails which are exchanged endlessly on a daily basis. The relationship gets intimate. Touching is no longer an option. But what are the legal risks involved? Remember the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal? Controversial insinuations of perceived unfair treatment and favoritism crop up to complete the show. It does not take a genius to see that once an office relationship goes bad these issues will land you in court as a harassment case.

It can have a devastating effect on the morale of the whole staff. An organization cannot have employees avoiding each other in the work place. There is the episode of colleagues who were in a long term relationship. The couple was very popular with the rest of the staff in the organization. When the couple eventually split, the whole staff was split into two opposing camps. Each camp supporting a different partner. The morale of the employees goes down to the last ebb. Office relationships affect the whole organization. It trickles down from the circle of the two love birds to the rest of the employees.

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Tuesday, April 8, 2008

New Powers to Help You Perfect Your Relationships

By Guy Finley

"Since what others may do to us is not in our power to change, we need only concern ourselves with what we do to ourselves... for this is in our power."

There is always a moment before a problem starts with another human being where we realize that what we want is not going to happen. Ordinarily we'll say the other person is about to "ruin my day." But there is, for those of us who want to understand, not only a way for our day not to be ruined, but a way for us to elevate both ourselves and the other person, or at least give them the opportunity to change their lives as well our own.

The nature of change has nothing to do with what another person has done to us. What the other person did presented us with a moment of grace -- the opportunity for us to see that the reason this happened is so that we are moved to where we can take the next step in our life. We can use this painful moment to prove to ourselves that not only has what we've wanted all along not worked, but there exists something that if we change what we want, we can begin to know ourselves at a higher level.

A self-working man or a woman, the person to whom and in whom the Truth begins to become a living force, cannot have a bad day or a bad relationship. It's impossible, because everything that happens to that self-working man or woman is used for the purpose it was created, which is to help the person discover first the condition they're actually in, and then to be moved to read it, and to want the understanding that rests above them.

What happens when we get hurt by another person? We either lash out in the moment we feel hurt, or we run the other way. Have you ever changed another human being by lashing out at them or running away from them? It is not our power to change anyone. All that happens is the experience (that is there to bring us understanding) just keeps repeating itself... over and over again. Our experience always brings us to this moment of truth where we have the possibility of changing what happens to us.

This is what is in our power to do: Whenever someone hurts us, we can put our understanding first and remember that this person cannot do anything different toward us than what he or she understands to do. Simply put, the person who is hurting us is doing the best they know how to do... and no one wants to be punished for their ignorance. The only way that person will ever know what they don't know is when we stop punishing them for it. But here's what we say: "That's not good enough!" Then we try to drag them through a change, which means we resist their negative behavior. And what do we do when someone resists our negative behavior? We just hunker down all the more. So our resistance to their state not only keeps their state alive, but we're convinced that we're different than them, when really it's one secretive relationship perpetuating itself.

In the moment that I feel hurt, I am in a space where I'm upset with you because of what you just did to me. That space wouldn't exist if I weren't standing as a secret opposite to the other person. What I'm looking at and feeling is really me. Therefore, what's mandatory in that moment is to realize that this space that I'm in - meaning my sense of self and all of the relationships that are producing this sense of self - must be abandoned. This is what is in our power to do: Instead of placing our attention on the person that we say has hurt us, we can place our attention and our wish on Love. I intentionally place it on my understanding that, even though I can't see it at the moment, the Love that would free me from this moment exists right there within me, above me.

When I understand that this human being could not do better than they're doing right now, and even though I'm sure they're wrong, they're the worst thing that ever happened... I can realize: that doesn't help me. That doesn't take me to the next level, and I can't make the other person go there... it's impossible. Therefore, I must quit the relationship that seems to be the only possibility at that moment, and join myself to the relationship that I know in my heart stands here even if I can't see it, and I can intend the Truth. I intend to be in relationship with what I know.

This is a key problem for us: I know the Truth is above me, and right now I'm angry and upset, and I don't feel any love at all. But by the same token, I know that what I am feeling is not only conducive to keeping this conflict going, but it's not letting me rise above myself. What I must do is understand that above me sits this Truth, this Love, this Goodness, and here is where I am, and that there exists some relationship between where I am and where I long to be.

Nothing in the universe can prevent a man or a woman who wants to know Love, who wants to reach the next level, from reaching it. The entire universe is set up for the purpose of us realizing our intention. The whole thing is designed for us to succeed at rising. When we understand the true nature of change, we can begin to intend that. It is not necessary to strive to succeed or to blame oneself if one doesn't. As we allow our understanding of the truth about our relationships to guide us, we will change... and we will know the change that we go through was given to us by something above us, and we will continue to long for that until our life is one beautiful upward movement. Truth promises it.

Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 30 books and audio programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have become international best sellers. His popular works, published in 16 languages, are widely endorsed by doctors, professionals, and religious leaders of all denominations. Among many others, his popular titles include: The Secret of Letting Go, Design Your Destiny, The Lost Secrets of Prayer, Apprentice of the Heart, and Let Go and Live in the Now.

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Some Common Reasons Why People Cheat On Their Partner

By Marvin Perry

There are many reasons why people cheat on their partner when they are in a committed relationship. In this article I will discuss some of the most common reasons why people cheat.

Lack of attention

Sometimes a person will cheat on their partner because they feel like their partner is not giving them as much attention as they would like them to.

Getting even

There are many people who will cheat on their partner because they found out their partner was cheating on them. As a way of getting even with their partner they will cheat because they believe it will make them feel better because they are attempting to hurt their partner in the process.

Lack of sex

Many people will cheat if they are not getting enough sex in their relationship. If their partner is unwilling or unable to keep up with them sexually, they will find someone else to fill that void.

Loss of interest

Sometimes a person will lose interest in their partner if their partner has gained some extra weight after they started dating. This person may no longer be physically attracted to their partner so they will find someone else who they are attracted to and they will cheat.

Fulfilling a fantasy

Many people have fantasies about being with a certain type of person it may be someone within a certain age group, race, or body-type. Even though we all have these fantasies many of us will not act on them however, there are some of us who are not strong enough to fight the temptation and will act on these fantasies.

Someone may be content with their partner. However, if they are presented with the opportunity to have a sexual relationship with someone they fantasize about, they will cheat on their partner just for the sake of fulfilling their fantasy.

Some people cheat because they believe they will not get caught

Sometimes a person may be in a great relationship but even though they are happy they will cheat on their partner simply because they believe they will not get caught cheating.

Many of these people will cheat when they know their partner will be away for a certain period of time, and they know exactly when their partner will return. These people believe cheating on their partner is ok because their partner will never find out about it.

There are many different reasons for people's infidelity in a relationship. Although infidelity cannot be justified people who get caught cheating will try to justify their actions.

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